How to ask your boss if it is OK to wear dreads at work...

[VixenSingsBlack]

OK, here's the situation:

I am a graduate student at University of New Orleans. This semester I have begun teaching 1 class of Introductory Freshman English. I also attend my own classes. So I am balanced somewhere b/w teacher and student. The school is COMPLETELY devoid of any "funky" hair dos, except for the occasional natural dready person and several chics with pink/blue/purple streaks. I REALLY want to install some autumnal colored roving dreads around for a few weeks in October. The first person who is in charge of me is my "mentor" Ali; she is an experienced Freshman English teacher that I meet (and others) meet with once a week or more often. She controls/guides me. Other people who will see my dreads; the head of the english department, the head of the graduate student teachers, the head of the freshman english department, and lots of other higher ups that know my face and know I am teaching.

How do I bring up funky hair to my Mentor? Is she going to freak out on me? She is a very liberal lady, but also neatly dressed in blazers and skirts--me on the other hand... i am neat but not "professional" looking. I like mostly jeans and polos or skirts and tanks with cardigans. I've tried to dress "professionally" but I just look like an ASS when I do; trying to be something I'm not I suppose. I'm 23 for criminy's sake! Not 35 or 45 or 75! I feel very strongly about being allowed to be who I am, but I also can't "piss off" any of the higher ups.

So ladies/gents, please help. How do I approach my mentor? How have ya'll done it in the past? What reasons can I give for wearing the crazy hair? <-- usually I'm articulate but right now I'm so FLUSTERED!

[LittlePinkFaery]

I will give you some advice, then tell you my story...

Whilst I love roving totally- it might be better to go for synth dreads as they are more natural looking- make then tones of your own hair and keep them tied back in a neat bun for work.

it might be hard to get hold of pics of dreads looking sleek and business like- so maybe do the install and then meet with her and if she really hates it- you can take them out and make them into falls to wear.

People can generally be a bit kooky in higher education so you might be okay.

My story...

I asked my boss- they alled a meeting with several of them in and basically warned me that if I did it I would be harming my job! there was nothing in my contract about hair and we were not customer facing- I don't think thee would have been an issue if I was only on the phones, but i was a manager.

Basically I was threatened by them!

I think my case was worse case scenario! In the end I bought a synth pony tail which I wore all the time.

[cherrystarlet]

I had to approach this subject in my office, although not with dreads - just for coloured extensions so here is how I did it and it worked pretty well

What I did was talk about how it was my hobby and how much I loved when I used to have hair extensions and it generally met with interest, so I just pushed it a bit further saying that I was doing some extensions for my friends and how lovely they were... again this was met with questions and interest about how to do it. So after talking about it for a while, I just kinda said that I really missed having my purple extensions and would it be okay to get them back in. And I was told it was fine! As long as they were neat and didnt affect me doing my job - which they dont! I only ever talk to clients on the phone and I'm a graphic designer so anyone who does meet me, usually loves them! Four years later - I think they would think its weird if I didnt have them!!

It was just a case of bringing it up in conversation a bit and testing the water so to speak and they seem agreeable so I figured it would be okay. You will probably be able to tell her reponse once you start mentioning it! Good luck

[Kaminoke]

Hah, I asked at my interview, before I even got the job

Is there a dress code? He tells me about the dress code.

How about hair? He looks blank.

I like to change my hair colour, is that that a problem or would you prefer me to leave it black? We abandon the rest of the interview in favour of discussing how stupid it is that your ability to do a job is apparently determined by your haircolour

But anyway. I'd sit her down and say hey, do you think there would be a problem if I changed my hair? I'd like to get some extensions in natural colours, and I was wondering if that would be a problem to anyone? And they will only be extensions, so if you do find some concerns, they're easily removable. And as Cherrystarlet said, make sure they're as neat as you can get them. You mention dreads and most people will automatically think scruffy and unwashed, but that's not always the case. If they let you have them, it's up to you to prove that what they may have been thinking is wrong.

I've found that as long as people know they aren't permanent and the 'damage' can be undone, there's much less of an issue (if any at all).

[cybernetikdreams]

I am also in a similar boat however I do work at an oxygen supply company. I am testing the waters slowly (since my manager is only in two times a week if that) with doing a braid install this weekend with natural colors black with some pepperoni thrown in. I will keep my braids tied back neatly and make sure that there is no reason for anyone to complain and wait to see how it goes from there.

[Moody108]

i asked in my interview if my hair would be a problem (it was orange real dreads with synth accents) and the manager said it was fine

[LadyLillith]

If you don't ask you don't get. The worse they can say is no. You'll just have to stick to wearing falls and wigs.

[VixenSingsBlack]

Thanks for the advice ladies. When I was driving for 20 hours to Atlanta running away from Hurricane Gustav, I got to thinking. I feel like I haven't "been myself" since I started Grad School (over a year ago). I've been trying really hard to "impress" people so they think I'm a good teacher or grad student.

Then, another student-teacher made a nasty comment about the way I dressed for teaching my class. At first I got scared - Do I really look like an idiot in front of the people I'm teaching?

Then I realized something. Even when I'm trying to be something i'm not, I totally fail at it. So why not just be myself? I'll be most comfortable in my own skin anyways, and it will probably help me teach better cuz I have more confidence.

Last year when I tutored students in the Writing Center the only "rules" about appearance were: no butt cracks, no belly buttons, no nipples and smell/look clean. Simple, easy, LOTS of wiggle room! But I was still scared to wear extensions--I did it twice anyways, but only for about a day or two.

So I think I'll try to get my mentor alone (which is really hard) and tell her I really miss my extensions and that they are a part of "me" and my self expression. I might even make some of the roving up and bring them with me so she can see them or print an old pic of me wearing some roving. <<< would that be weird?


THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE!

[Futzzz]

i dont think it would be weird to bring an old pic of you wearing dreads/roving at all if you want to directly approach her about your hair!

The way i did is was to wear long clip in blonde (my natural color) loose human hair extensions and then eveybody got curious and started asking questions about it - i told them that they were just clip in and that i made them myself - really impressed a lot of people including my boss (who used to be a hairdresser, who knew?!)

This was in a store and i was dealing with customers all day, and my piercing (labret) had already been mentioned negatively by my boss's boss, the store manager, but once the communication were there you could talk about it in a natural way and it was less me asking permission, more of a now that we are talking about it and you are aksing, then i will tell you and *pling* i could wear naturally colored dreads:)

oh and with the labret, was asked to take it out after working there for 4 months as the region manager had been visiting and didnt like it. i told the store manager (politely) that i had it when she hired me so she obviously didnt think it was i problem then and that i was sorry but couldnt take it out every day, but they were welcome to fire me if it was an actual problem. they didnt:)

[Kaminoke]

I think if it's not with them styled like your avatar, that'd be a good idea

Even when I'm trying to be something i'm not, I totally fail at it.

Hahahahah you too? I used to have to dress 'smart/casual', and I had no clue how to pull that off. I looked worse than when I dressed normally

[VixenSingsBlack]

I think if it's not with them styled like your avatar, that'd be a good idea

I agree, I think the giant spikes sticking off my head MIGHT be a problem!

Thanks for the support

[cancankant]

I'm bit older than many of the ladies on here, and I'm biased (since I like fake hair & funky hair color), but I don't think if I took a time machine back to where I would have been a freshmen I would care if my teacher had dreads!!! Maybe your superiors will, but it won't probably be the students judging you harshly. Shoot, one of my college teachers admitted (in a round about way) to REALLY, REALLY liking marajuana (his license plate was GANGA). I think much worse than having fake dreads! Although I'd agree with him...LOL!!!

I will have to say that your concerns are a bit warranted. I have been considering grad school for over a year, and at 35 yrs old, it scares the sh*t out of me. Seriously, I wonder if people will take a septum-pierced, hair obsessed freak like me as a counselor (mental health)!!! I am suited for the job, but think the whole "professional appearance" thing is a bit whack.

Thanks for the advice ladies. When I was driving for 20 hours to Atlanta running away from Hurricane Gustav, I got to thinking. I feel like I haven't "been myself" since I started Grad School (over a year ago). I've been trying really hard to "impress" people so they think I'm a good teacher or grad student.

Then, another student-teacher made a nasty comment about the way I dressed for teaching my class. At first I got scared - Do I really look like an idiot in front of the people I'm teaching?

Then I realized something. Even when I'm trying to be something i'm not, I totally fail at it. So why not just be myself? I'll be most comfortable in my own skin anyways, and it will probably help me teach better cuz I have more confidence.

Last year when I tutored students in the Writing Center the only "rules" about appearance were: no butt cracks, no belly buttons, no nipples and smell/look clean. Simple, easy, LOTS of wiggle room! But I was still scared to wear extensions--I did it twice anyways, but only for about a day or two.

So I think I'll try to get my mentor alone (which is really hard) and tell her I really miss my extensions and that they are a part of "me" and my self expression. I might even make some of the roving up and bring them with me so she can see them or print an old pic of me wearing some roving. <<< would that be weird?


THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE!