The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

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The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by MissAnthropik » Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:44 pm

We understand you want to help and advise each other but many of the posts we get are not appropriate for this board, we are thinking particularly personal and relationship "agony aunt" style problems (other posts for advice and discussion may well still be relevant as threads in their own right, if you are not sure whether to post here or as a main thread please contact any moderator or admin).

This thread is to give you a way to alert members to your crises and issues without having them discussed on the board.

In this thread MAY:
-post a brief description of the problem you need help with
-post a link to where else in internet land you may be discussing it (we suggest livejournal or similar, but whatever you fancy really, or ask for emails/PMs)

In this thread you MAY NOT:
-discuss or comment on any of the problems posted.

Essentially this thread will be a list of problems almost as adverts to where else people can go to support you.

Any replies or comments to anything posted here will be deleted.

Any questions please ask a moderator and we will attempt to clarify.

Thanks :)
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Re: The advice thread (rules in first post)

Post by iamtheparty » Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:20 pm

Hi, apparently I did this wrong before but I'm having a problem getting my hamster to drink from a water bottle. If anyone has any ideas please PM me.
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Lorny » Wed May 20, 2009 8:20 pm

Hmm... Need a bit of advice, but I'm not sure if this belongs here since it isn't particularly major.

I've had a baby bird living in the bushes in my garden for three days now. As far as I know, he isn't injured, and he seems to be doing ok in there. He wanders about a bit, and since he came off our roof (we think he tried to fly but couldn't get back up again), his mum keeps flying down to give him food too. There is a nest with other babies making the same noise, and they seem to communicate with eachother.

He ended up out the front of my house today, but I used a towel and gently put him back into the garden and blocked off any exits, so there is *fingers crossed* hopefully more chance he will survive since he won't wander from 'home', won't get squashed by a car, and less chance he'll be eaten by a cat if they find him. I figured since he has survived two days hiding in my bushes he should be ok.

I also gave him some bread today, just in case it isn't safe for him to come out of his little hideout. Is this OK? Didn't want him to starve or anything.

I don't really know what I want to know, but I just didn't know if I should help him survive, does picking up the bird with a towel damage it or cause it too much undue stress (he appeared to be getting on as usual though), should I call RSPB, or what? I know a lot of you are big on the animal welfare, so thought you could help. :)

*EDIT* I know this is a really stupid thing to need advice on, but I'd be gutted if I could have helped, or if I made things worse by trying to help, and I'd be gutted if either of them resulted in him dying. :(

EDITED by MissAnthropik- Please PM Lorny to help her, no replies here. Thanks :)

*EDIT* Just want to say thanks to everybody what gave me advice, there was quite a few so it was too many to email personally. I learned some new things I never would have guessed too, so that shall be remembered for if there is a next time.

Mr Birdy was fine in the end, and started flying on his own and what not. :)
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Intra_venus » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:58 am

Anyone have any advice about missing cats? Mine's been gone about 5 days now and I'm worrying my ass off... Anyone got any ideas about regular cat hidey places or experiences to share?

EDIT: Was all hyped up to pop round all the neighbours when one of them (who we'd told already) pointed out the cat was in our garden so we grabbed him and hugged him half to death!
Last edited by Intra_venus on Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by RevaM1ssP1ss » Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:27 pm

I'm flying abroad on Wednesday for the first time and I'm not entirely sure what to expect. If anyone has any information about how early to be, any charges I may need to pay, what I should have on the plane, anything I should worry about with piercings and such, any information about baggage etc

It would be appreciated :)

If it matters, I'm flying with US Airways from Manchester to Philadelphia, then from Philly to Miami Airport, Florida.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by out.of.wonderland » Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:33 am

I dislocated my knee in figure skating a year ago. I was anorexic when I did it all the way up to a couple months after it healed. Now; one year later (I'm normal weight now) sometimes I just randomly get pains in my knee. Tonight it's so bad I want to tear my skin off. However, the weather was a little wonky this week (from rainy to sunny in an hour); and the boy says it could be atmospheric changes. I never had it checked out by a doctor after it healed even though I should've. Could there still be some damage in my knee?
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Freakonaleash » Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:59 pm

I thought I would use this for advice seems as i have issues to moan about each week lol.

When i was living up at university in a shared house i thought i had a pretty good friend in the house,turns out he isnt.
When i went to download festival i left him my room key so he could look after my rats- i did this because i trusted him. Got back from download,didnt notice anything missing in my room. It wasnt until i had moved out and moved back home that my housemate told me that he borrowed my camera tripod from my room and forgot to give it back. He said he would post it to me.. 2 weeks ago he said he had posted it... it has now been 5 weeks since i moved back home and i still dont have it. He reckons the post office sent it back to him because the address was unreadable.

He has now said that he cant send it back for another 3 weeks or so because he has no money and ill just have to stop asking and wait for it.
Im a photographer,and i rely on my tripod for alot of still life/animal portraits. Without it i have had to turn down some work.
He decided to get personal because I had a go at him for not posting it and that I wanted it by the end of the week- resulting in a big arguement.
He has now said he will post it when he wants to not when i want him to.

My dad has said I should report him to the local authorities up where i lived because it can be classed as theft, he took it without asking when i had full trust in him to look after my rats and not to take anything from my room.
My dad now has his number, which may be a bad thing to do as knowing my dad he will end up going up there to get it back and forcing the housemate for petrol money aswell.

im not sure where to go with this. if i had given him permission to use the tripod while i wasnt there then it would be my own fault,but i didnt even know he had it :|

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by [[Violet.Nightmare]] » Wed Jul 22, 2009 9:40 am

I know most people write an essay but...

my fish has started swimming upsidedown :| should i be worried...

*edit* Thanks for the advice. He appears to be swimming the rigt way round again now... occasionally.
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by zaahn » Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:55 pm

I'll try to keep this simple and any advice is greatly appreciated:

I recently moved house and in the confusion I didn't realise I was out of Microgynon 30 until yesterday when I went to grab my new pack and I didn't have one. Me and my OH had sex during my pill free week just before my period and im unsure if I was protected during this time because I haven't started another pack. I've googled this but no one seems to have been as dense as me and done the same thing and theres no advice in the leaflet :( Can anybody help? Please PM me.

Thanks in advance x

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who replied, your advice really helped :)
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by ~*Zombie Candycane~* » Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:05 am

Im not sure this is the type of thing we are able to discuss here but if not i will remove it ASAP.

I was wondering if i could have some advice from any of you ladies who have suffered from depression and panic attacks. I have had panic attacks, Feeling worthless, feeling id be better off dead, and extream anxiety for the past year or so but its now getting out of control can anyone give me advice on how to battle and cope?? Im trying to hide it and act "normal" and have a laugh and a joke with my friends/family etc but its getting more and more difficult as the attacks and bad thoughts are happening more and more.

Ive booked in with a doctor for monday but im unsure as to what they will do or say and this in itself is making me feel a little scared. I would just like to know whats likley to happen from someone else whos been there. Theres no-one at home i can really talk too.

Please PM me thanks

EDIT Thank you all you wonderful women that have PMed me and helped me! I have had some wonderful advice! You have all been amazing!
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Bomber » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:53 pm

I could do with some advice on this situation I've managed to land myself in..

Basically a few weeks ago, I went out and pulled this guy, got his number and started texting him quite regularly, typically flirty stuff really. Then he told me he's actually engaged so I pulled the plug on anything other than just being friends, which he agreed to, and I thought that would be the end of it. I'm not a homewrecker.

However today, I log on to facebook, and I have a message from his fiancée (on his account) basically telling me he's in a heap of trouble. I sent him the message telling him that there couldn't be an "us" because of the circumstances on there, which means she's seen that whole message log, and my original message was basically "I like you, I'd do you in a heartbeat but you're engaged so lets not". I thought it'd be safer than over text or something but apparently not.

She doesn't seem to be blaming me (at least not as much) but I can't help feeling to blame, like if I'd sent it a different way, she wouldn't have found out? I never ever wanted to get him in to any trouble and now I feel like I've got him in a whole mountain of sh*t.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by RevaM1ssP1ss » Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:24 pm

I don't need this advice immediately but I have been debating it for a while now and I'm still none the wiser.

I've been considering a pet in September, after years of having nothing more than fish that I can't take to Uni with me, but I'm not sure what pet to choose.

I want something preferably that I can bring home with me when I need to, or something I can leaven at Uni that won't be too difficult for a housemate to look after if I'm not there.

I'm not sure what kind of pet would be best, if any at all in this situation :(

I've wanted a rabbit for the longest time and I'm sure it'd be a good pet for me but I don't think the situation would be ideal for it - my way of getting home is a train and a bus.

I've also considered getting a crab and leaving it at the house where I live to be at Uni but then I'm not sure where to get one other than the wild and that'd make keeping it's environment perfect for him/her difficult.

I'm open to plenty of suggestions apart from bugs and such because they scare the crap out of me :|

For the record it's a Wildlife Photography course so aesthetically pleasing animals are preferred :lol:

But yeah let me know about any animals that are less than high maintenance/easy to transport if needed.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by kyandii » Mon Aug 10, 2009 7:14 pm

I don't really need advice just someone to talk to :(

My dad was diagnosed with cancer today :? :(
I'd really like someone to talk to

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by ScarletLady » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:48 pm

I could really do with some

I'm so worried about Dan. I know he's been feeling down because of everything recently (his daughter, the miscarriage, lack of money/job etc). I booked him in to see the doctor yesterday because he was getting a lot of stomach pain and we thought it may be an ulcer. THere are a few other things he's been meaning to discuss with the Dr for ages so I said he might as well do it all in one go.

He came back yesterday and basically poured his heart out to me. He says he's been feeling really the point of suicidal for a few months now. The fact he can't see his daughter is killing the fact he can't find work and keeps getting let down for money/wages so I'm having to pay for everything. He said that if he didn't have me he would have just jumped under a train ages ago. I had no idea things were that bad and I just don't know what to do! He's going back to the Dr to discuss medication/counselling other options. I'm hoping this helps but in the meantime I feel completely useless...I mean, I'll support him any way I can but I'm not sure how exactly...I've been depressed myself so I understand the feelings he's talking about (Isolation, not wanting to see people or make an effort with himself and so on - I know a few people on here have been there).

Is there anything practical I can do to help...or is it simply a case of being there and riding it out with him. I hate seeing him so sad...he said he keeps bursting into tears for no reason when I'm not there and he's been having really extreme mood swings...He's been so strong for me helping me through my problems and I want to do the same Ijust don't know where to start

Any advice at all would be really appreciated....
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by [Phexxie] » Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:38 pm

im not sure if there is anything i can do regarding this issue, but if anyone can give me any advice at all it would be hugely appreciated

i quit uni in March due to various reasons, but i really want to go back and do a different course at a different uni
the problem is... since i quit, the Student Loan Company have demanded that i pay back the last installment of my maintenance loan from January
i had to spend the money i had left from my loan as i had rent/bills to pay, and since i was unemployed i absolutely HAD to use the loan money

I cannot apply for another loan until this is paid off in full, meaning i cant go back to uni which i desperately want to do by next September

im wondering if there are any grants or loans that could possibly help me out? my boyfriend suggested contacting my local council to see if they would be willing to fund me as he got funding from his council before christmas, but our council are tight and they wont give anything out on a whim (he is in Wales, making him incredibly lucky as he gets all kinds of extra funding!)

i am currently on jobseekers allowance and struggling madly to find a job, i asked about possible help when i last signed on but the advisor didnt seem to have a clue... as most of them dont here :roll:

even if i did have a job, i dont think i would ever get this paid off in time
i cant get a bank loan as im unemployed

any ideas?

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Kodachi » Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:07 am

I dunno if this will get answered but I guess its worth a shot...

I'm in my first relationship (yes at the age of 21 >.> Aren't I a late bloomer? I'm 22 now). The guy is totally darling and actually and honestly everything I could ask for in a guy, he's a total sweetheart and even his quirks (which match mine actually) are wonderful. Things would be sterling except for this one issue - he's got 3 jobs and they're very demanding. Because they're so demanding and he and I live in seperate (but close) cities, it's difficult to see him and now even just as difficult to hear from him. That makes me worry about the relationship often and we've been dating only around 6 - leading into 7 mos. That irks me.

I get to see him once, maybe twice, a month but I always have to travel to his city because his jobs have him on that tight a leash because he is in financial straits. It's getting harsh on my budget to do so because I have to take public transportation and it hurts emotionally that I know that he'll rarely, if ever, come up to my city.

As for communication, it seems at the start of the relationship, I heard more from him but now it's just tapered off into nearly nothing. It's like talking into a black hole, things go in but nothing, if anything, is coming out. I don't mean to bug and be a harpy to him and I hate acting like some overly-emotional female but I'm already having to do without seeing him as frequently as I would like so it's a strain on me that I barely hear from him. How is the relationship supposed to grow when we don't talk or spend time together more than that of mere aquaintences (sp?)? It bothers me. I understand he works a lot and is thus tired a lot but God, y'know? He warned me that he works a lot and so we won't be able to be like a normal couple but I didn't expect it to be this much! I figured "K, I'm low maintence, fairly busy myself with school and job, and we have our phones, we'll be fine." This level of frustration and anxiety is not what I expected (I did expect some tho). A template text or something short like an iluvu is good enough for me but I don't even get that really.

He and I both come from pretty fscked up pasts and have emotional hurts to deal with. It also bothers me that this lack of communication has made me have a few "manic panics" as I like to call them (and there's no other way to describe them) because they had off set my abandonment issues and I am a total worry wart. I worry they are leaving dents in the relationship yet thankfully I'm having less and less of them. Instead it's being replaced with annoyance. I don't mean to be on my boyfriend's back about this so much, he's got enough on his plate already, but it really does bother me. Is it because I'm new to relationships (and being emotional close to someone - I hate emotions and have put years into blocking them off) or am I valid in some way or another? How do I cope with the severe lonliness and the frustration I feel when I see other couples walking the street and thinking "what I wouldn't give to have more of that?" I do bring this up with him, a little too constantly in my opinion, but the words keep escaping me yet I do try very hard to say how I feel.

I just feel so argh about this all. I really care for him and he's too good a guy to just up and leave. Also I'd feel like a serious hypocrite because I always said, "Should I have a bf I wouldn't leave his side just because times have gotten bad" and I always looked down on those who did (and didn't have significant reason such as their own personal safety). It's just so freaking hard to deal with! Any advice would be useful.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Zombie Princess » Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:11 pm

ok so bear with me, this is quite a long story!

about 4 weeks ago i had an accident at work. i was lifting a barrel and smashed my wrist on a padlock with the barrel still in my hands. i was in some serious pain, i thought i'd broken my wrist cos i had tingling and numbness going all the way up my arm. i checked with my boss who is a first aider, she looked at my wrist and said she thought it was fine as i could move it. so carried on with my work and tried to forget about the pain.

2 weeks passed and i was having major issues with my shoulder and collar bone, i couldnt get comfy when i was on the sofa,couldnt sleep, i could hardly drive and it was affecting my work so i went to see my GP. he checked out my shoulder, prescribed me some strong pain killers and referred me for physio, didnt check my collar or my wrist, just my shoulder as i was having difficulty moving my arm.
went to the physio, she kept pokin at everything which i know is her job, but i just felt like she wasnt listening to where the pain was? she was pullin my neck and arm, but never listened

this thursday, i decided enough was enough and i couldnt take the pain any longer. i'd tried heat packs, frozen peas, deep heat and deep freeze, id taken silly amounts of pain killers at once, and the pain still wasnt shifting. so i rang Shropdoc (cos i live in shropshire :i9: ) to get some advice, they told me to ' take paracetamol as well as the prescribed pain killers and see your doctor in the morning'. i then told him i had already tried pain killers etc but the pain wasnt shifting, so he told me to ' try and get some sleep and see your doctor in the morning'
i wasnt very happy with this as it felt he was almost dismissing me straight away? so i rang NHS direct. and got exactly the same thing, by this point i was getting fed up of hearing the same thing, telling them id already tried these things. i really felt like no one was listening to me, just fobbing me off cos im young?? i understand they have a lot of calls, a lot to deal with, but if they just listened maybe they could actually hand out some good advice.
anyway, i was angry and tired so tried to get some sleep, as by this point it was about 1am and i'd had enough.

woke up early friday morning after having another rubbish nights sleep, still in agony, so i rang my doctors to try and speak to my GP to see what he recomended. he wasnt available, so i told the receptionist i really needed to speak to him as i was in a serious amount of pain. and she said 'if your in pain, go to A&E.'

i thought about it and thought, why should i be sat here in pain?? so went up to A&E, was very impressed with the speed i was seen in. everyone was polite and helpful.

and again i was very impressed with my doctor, told him how i had got the injury and he immediately checked out my wrist, whole arm, shoulder blade AND my collar bone, which no one else had done. he wasnt happy with a few things so sent my off for an X-Ray, and it turns out that for 4 WEEKS i have had and suffered with the pain of a BROKEN COLLAR BONE.

i spoke/saw 4 medical professionals, non of which picked up on this??? even tho i told them how i did it, the amount of pain i was in and what i was doing/taking for the pain. am i right to feel seriously let down here?

sorry about the rant, im just really annoyed :i3: please pm me with any advice, thanx xx

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Freakonaleash » Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:19 pm

this is probably silly advice im asking for here but here goes;

Would you allow your boyfriend to go to a stag night in a strip club knowing how easily turned on he gets when he is drunk?
My boyfriend is going to his best mates stag do in october and theres been talk of going to a strip club by his best mates brother. most of his mates that are going are single, the Groom doesnt want to go but his brother is trying to persuade everyone to go. Ive told my boyfriend I dont want him going because of how he is when drunk and i dont see why he needs to go and watch naked pretty women dancing about when he has me at home. It would make me feel like im not good enough because im size 16 and im hardly the most attractive person out there.
He has told me he isnt going to go because the groom wont go and his cousin doesnt want to go.

However today ive been told different by his cousins girlfriend who im friends with and that he is planning on going from what he has told his cousin.
So im not sure what to believe

its a silly situation i know but im a sensitive person

**EDIT** thank you to everyone who gave me some advice. The situation is partly resolved.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Xavialune » Fri Sep 11, 2009 5:22 am

I know this is a pretty personal issue, and I probably wouldnt ask here if I had someone else to turn to..but the fact of the matter is I really have no one to talk about this to. Not at this point in time at here goes, and if its too inappropriate its ok if its deleted.

As you all know by now Ive had an adventure with a certain older person..I have hit a snag on this and I really need some advice. Everything thats gone on and been left behind is now catching up with us and reality is setting in. Im being told that theres no foreseeable future, and feeling bad about what has been done to others in order for us to be together..

We're supposed to fly out to manchester this coming wednesday. I dont know if i am going with him anymore..I want to go, and Im pretty sure he wants me to as well, but the logistics..well eventually he has to go back to germany to sort everything out and I cannot come with him. If Im in england at that time, I have no one really to stay with while he does so, and there is no telling how long he will be doing it. I guess I just dont know what to do. I would put more details up but if anyone wants to give advice PM me and I'll elaborate further.

I just really want this to work out. Even if it means being separated for a bit while he sorts things out, I really want to stay together. Its tearing me apart thinking about having to go back nothing basically. My old life is gone, my old apartment and my old boyfriend and everything. Just gone..I have nothing now. I havent any close friends or anything..I can go back to my parents but for what? To live in misery rotting in semi-rural Maine?

Any advice, any advice at greatly appreciated.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Stilldawn » Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:54 pm

I bought some plastic craft lace for me and my daughter to play with, and it literally smells like sweaty butt. Any suggestions on what to do to get rid of the stink. Its terrible.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by Letty » Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:28 am

My boyfriend is in a quite huge amount of financial trouble right now. I'm wondering if any of you ladies are up to scratch on your law!
Basically he booked a lot of accomodation for his Counterstrike team earlier this year when they were going to go to a match - and put his name on the email contract. They ended up not going, and now the accomodation want him to pay them £10,000 in cancellation fees. There's no way he can pay this and there's a possibility it could go to court.

Soooo, can someone help me make a plan?
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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by DieTigress » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:53 am

Warning; This is a long story. Involving sexuality and gender identity and a severe social/neurological/learning disorder.
Also pardon my choppy English. It gets bad when i'm upset.

It was a few years ago when i came to terms with it, i've gotten therapy and such, but it's still driving me insane. I'm FtM. Growing up, I was treated as a boy, and it wasn't until my aunts and uncles referred to me as "she" hitting puberty that I started to be gender confused. I always knew that I was different from the other boys, my teachers and people in public that I didn't even know were asking me if I knew that I was going into the boys' restroom. It was starting to get insanely confusing for me. During health class, 9th year, I knew it. I was a girl. I had an emotional breakdown then and there and excused myself to the restroom. For the first time in my life, I went into the girls', and knew i didn't belong. I'm getting that taken care of, but it's been a huge stumbling block in my life, and it was that breakdown that started me going into regular, weekly therapy.

That year, I met a boy. I'll call him. Jim. I was in love from the start. He was bisexual, and for the longest time I would only go anywhere near bisexual boys because I knew that they wouldn't dump me for my body. At least, that's what I thought. Dating Jim for the 2 months I dated him were intense months. When things finally started getting intimate, he found out about my secret and told me that that was it. He didn't want to date someone that couldn't deal with who they were and tried to be so hard who they were not.

It confused me so much. For months after that, I couldn't sleep. I'd lie in bed, in the fetal position, muttering "I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I am not a girl, I'm a boy..." And I would mutter than and cry until I fell asleep. My grades started slipping, I essentially stopped caring. For the longest time, I wouldn't speak. I was afraid of that happening again, and life would be better if nobody knew anything about me. I was the androgen with pink hair. The depressed, ADHD androgen with pink hair.

Speaking of ADHD, my mama had me take a test for that with my therapist the summer between sophomore and junior years of high school. It was horrible. There was one test that stands out in my mind, and I had to copy exactly the shapes I saw, without lifting my pencil from the paper.
It started simple, with a line, an X, a square, a circle... basic shapes.
Then it got harder, the last one being a celtic knot. The lines I drew in that test were so dark, and squiggly, I'm used to drawing with a light hand, because when I was younger, I'd hold the pencil down too hard and tear the paper. I explained that to my therapist and she wrote it down. I told her a lot while I took that test. A lot about how writing and drawing a lot hurt my hands and how I always felt overwhelmed during my math classes because I didn't understand a thing and took 3 days on a test when other people got it done in half a class period.

The beginning of Junior year, I was diagnosed with Non-Verbal-Learning Disorder (NLD, the same neurological disorder I complained about in the show off your art and my thread asking for dread help), severe anxiety and manic depression.
NLD made people think I was gifted when i was young. I was fluent in german, near fluent in russian, and i spoke great english. At the age of 7. I was able to do the math and I could spit out important things that I learned in history.

Now, though, it's taking its toll. NLD ups my anxieties, it's very hard for me to go through a day without getting overwhelmed and having an emotional breakdown. I'm not a social butterfly, and am happy sitting in my room drawing. I get lost very easily, and I can't understand non spoken directions. I'm easily distracted , my handwriting is awful, and it shocks my physical therapist that i can hold a pencil.
Now that I'm in college and on my own, i'm going insane. I just need someone to talk to, someone that can offer me a kind word. Encouragement. That's what I want.
I need someone to tell me that things are going to be ok. that i can stop having to cry myself to sleep. someone that won't hold a personal grudge against me. i just. want someone to talk to.

i'm on msn almost all day every day,

i'm also looking for someone that's able to help me understand physics.
i can't wrap my head around the equations and how they work.

and i want my boyfriend to hurry up and come back from his vacation in japan. ._.
I love listening to new wave 80's pop. Does that make me gay?

"No, Die. Your homosexuality makes you gay."

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by SuperCollider » Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:11 pm

Not sure if this is alright here, its different to everyone elses problems :roll: It does go a bit rambly, because I feel like it has affected many areas of my life.

Ive never met my dad, and I really want to. When I was younger my mum called him up once and he said he didnt have a daughter and that hed call the police if my mum called him again. But when I was born he said he wouldnt be any use to me until I was 16 so I shouldnt contact him. Im now 17. And I really want to meet him. Im just worried about how his other family would react or how he would react to me. His wife (after my mum) demanded a copy of my birth certificate to proove he was my dad, because he denies it. Although he still pays child maintenance every month.

I look him up on facebook every day and save any new photos of him, just because I can, but I don't admit it to anyone. I had a crap year last year, and really wanted a second parent figure. And I also think it has affected my relationship with guys. Ive been single for 2 years, and I recently met a guy, he stayed over on friday and I realised that I have absolutely no idea how to act around men! I always behave like a guy, but its only my interpretation of what guys are like, which is nothing like what they actually are.

I can easily find out where my dad lives, or even add him on facebook, but I dont want to KNOW that he doesnt want me, Id rather THINK that there is a glimmer of hope that he might like me as much as his other kids. I would really appreciate some advice on this, I cant go to any members of my family because my dad is a bit of a black sheep to them :?

I would really appreciate some advice, even if its just that I shouldnt think about him anymore. I dont really have anyone else I can talk to about this.

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by debra_beretta » Mon Oct 12, 2009 1:26 am

Hello guys

I'm fairly new around here, but it is nice so meet such a friendly and helpful community. I wanted to post about this on the board because I'm sure there are many of you that can help and I know I won't get any pointless answers.

Anyway, I have crippling self esteem issues. I hate looking in the mirror and I'm afraid to express myself the way I want to thanks to 10 years of bad experiences and some very unhelpful people I have encountered in my life so far. I'm nearly 27 years old and I'm afraid that if this problem doesn't get sorted out now then it never will do and I already regret the fact that I have grown up to be a person who has never really truly been herself.

I'd like some *helpful* discussion please, I'm sure many of you have had similar problems and found ways to overcome them. I know that I'm the only one that can help myself but I'd like some guidance.

Thanks x
I am disillusioned enough to know that no man's opinion on any subject is worth a damn unless backed up with enough genuine information to make him really know what he's talking about. - H.P Lovecraft

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Re: The ADVICE thread (rules in first post)

Post by [[Violet.Nightmare]] » Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:21 am

RIGHt,So I KNoW THAt a loT OF yOU aRE/know peoplE Who ArE computer geeks so i thought a post HEre MiGht help befORe i really haVe TO pay To GEt tHis fiXed
aNYwAY... my TODAY my compuTER BAsicalLY starteD actING LikE tHE shift key was hELD doWN at randOM MOments... as you can plainlY sEe bY THE raNdOM caps in tHis POsT. AnYWAY ITs MAKINg life extrEMElY dIfFICuLT!
I run windows vista on a dell laptop. Anyone got any SUGGesTions?
"Once you cressp you just cant splessp"

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