Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

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miss_mortisha
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Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by miss_mortisha » Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:26 pm

After suffering from all of the above and more for more years then i can remember - i ust wondered if anyone else does and if so what they do to cope?

I currently have panic attacks - i obsess of things from years ago and find it hard to cope with te feelings these bring up - i also have black outs of time where i dont know whats happened but i know it feels 'bad' or like i wasnt coping in some way.

I also have what my therapist calls my 'emotion box' which when something brings strong emotions i put it in the box nd close down, coming across as cold and uncaring...

I find it helpful to talk to others who have gone through all of this and wonder if other people do to?

Sorry if there is already a thread for this, i couldnt find any.... please delete or remove if inappropriate!
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by halocaustic » Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:38 pm

This probably relates to this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=11576
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by Mkatsi » Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:20 pm

I suffered very badly from panic attacks and anxiety when I was younger, my folks got me to see a psychologist in the end, but I didnt like it, then I went on some herbal medicine, but I cant remember if it worked, it was something I grew out of very slowly. However, I recently moved out of my parents home properly and into a new city and new job, Ive been struggling and started having attacks again, it really scared me, I started using rescue remedy that does seem to help. They are getting fewer and further between as I settle down.
My body seems to cope by making me nap when I get too stressed, to the point where I will feel fine, then the next moment will need to sleep.

Im doing things for myself to get away, at the moment I like taking my laptop into the bathroom and watching films in a very hot bath, it makes me feel like I have my own space for a moment.

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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by rivetlicker_ » Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:30 pm

I'm medicated, however, I was off my old medication for 2 weeks and I was panicking like crazy. I was so angry, I couldn't sleep, and if I did, I had night terrors and panic attacks in my sleep. Yeah, it's possible. As a lucid dreamer, I end up waking up out of breath and heart racing. Then I started my new medication and they all stopped. It's under control now (thank god).

I guess getting on my bike and going for a ride helps :)

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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by Librarynerd » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:44 am

I've been through the ringer with major depression and anxiety for 20yrs. I've only had 2 panic attacks luckily, those are terrifying. I was absolutely convinced I was going to die on the spot. As I've gotten older the periods between episodes have gotten longer but the depression seems to go deeper, if that makes sense.
It's always been very hard for me to ask for help. I pride myself on being a tough, independent women but sometimes you just have to admit you can't do alone:)
I have taken almost every drug in the book, some helped for awhile to pull me out of depression, most did nothing or had intolerable side effects. Such is life. Fortunately there are TONS of drugs and therapy's to try. It's been hard for me to keep trying but it is worth it! Just a month ago I started a new drug, Seraquel, it's a newer drug and works differently than the SSRI's(prozac, xoloft, ect) It helps the anxietly and helps be sleep.and does not give me the drugged feeling of lorazipam or Ambien. Drugs and seeing a counselor once a week is working for me this time and has given me hope that I can truly manage this disease.
No bad side effects so far. Fingers crossed.

If you're having blackouts you should have an EEG, you may be having partial seizures. I have temporal lobe epilepsy and have had partial seizures and grand mal seizure's(flop around, bite my tongue, ect). During partial seizures I act weird , dazed but walking and talking, afterword I remember NOTHING. Last time I had one I drove my car home and don't remember it. I only drive rarely now if I have to :i6:
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by poxabomination » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:56 am

I was on a horrible medication for anxiety/manic depression for years, I'm talking 1-3 panic attack a day in which I thought I was about to die (even with medication), and depression and mood swings so deep it was hard to maintain friendships. One time I had to be taken to the ER in an ambulance because I was panicking so much I couldn't breath and told my mom I was dying. I thought the drug was really helping me the whole time (I can't remember how bad it was as a child before I was medicated but I'm told it was worse than I was ON the medication, so it must have been bad :lol: ), but then last year I decided to try and get off it. Then I realised it hadn't really been helping the panic attacks and depression specifically, it was just numbing me all around, to everything. Feelings, sights, sounds, even smells and tastes. I remember the first week being off the medication and realising how incredibly COLORFUL everything was. Unfortunately, the drug I was on causes absolutely horrible physical withdrawal symptoms (some doctors have likened it to mild heroin withdrawals, no joke. And they prescribed it to me at 13.) And when I say it was bad, I mean absolutely AWFUL. For three months I would get dizzy if I even moved my eyes too fast, this horrible electric shock feeling in my limbs, blackouts, loss of breath, almost passing out a few times where everything would go black, night sweats, nightmares, heart palpitations, and the worst panic attacks I had ever experienced, plus the constant craving of the medication. After about two or three solid months of that it finally tapered off and now I feel better than ever. After that bad experience (which is VERY uncommon with other drugs, that one in particular had some shady history with not-so-thourough research... but thats going off topic) I decided I personally did not trust drugs and I wanted to take control of things myself. I had been thinking a lot about mental illness as whole and how I felt totally different about it than I did years ago. I used to wish it was just gone forever and I could be a 'normal' kid, but now I embrace it as part of me and who I am and what makes me different.
Now, when I have panic attacks, like when I'm in the car and I get that awful floaty out of body feeling, I talk myself out of it. "Hey, you're having a panic attack, stop being a baby. You're not dying, you're not having a heart attack, nothing bad is happening, stop being a bitch and snap out of it." :lol: It sounds silly but I have to insult myself or it doesn't work.
When I get into those states of deep deep depression, I try and do creative things, drawing, writing, making clothes. I find that most of my best art comes from when I'm feeling the worst, I guess that whole tortured artist thing, haha. But for real, I try to embrace it, because even though depression isn't fun, its a feeling, and an incredibly STRONG feeling as I'm sure you know, that can be channeled into whatever you're trying to create. It's hard at first to be motivated enough to actually start a creative process, but once I do I shock myself with what I come up with. Some of my best writing came from when I was feeling at my absolute worst; it doesn't mean it's happy writing, but its still much more deep and with more feeling than anything else I try and write. I try to work with it and take advantage of those feelings. I was born this way, there's nothing 'wrong' with me that needs to be fixed, and I'm tired of feeling like I should be ashamed of it, dammit! XD
When I get into those crazy, straight out insane fits it' s a bit different. It only happens once every 3 or four months, but when it does I'm talking screaming to voices out loud, crying, blacking out, pulling my hair out, etc. It's scary :shock: But my bf is the most understanding person I've ever met and he gets me through it. None of my friends have ever seen me get like that or even know its there, I'm not one of those people that you meet and go "oh man its a crazy person" (I think :P) It's just one of those things that happens due to the manic depression and extreme stress. There are only two things that help me in those times, one of which is just sitting it out with my boyfriend, and the other I won't discuss here. It's not bad in my opinion but some people have a very strong first reaction towards it.
All in all, you have to figure out whats best for you and surround youself with positive, understanding people. Don't ever feel hopeless or ashamed because that just makes it worse! Maybe medication would work for you, maybe some mental excerices would work, it all depends on you as an individual. I'm glad because I can manage my issues without medication, but I am in no way knocking it. I'm just saying it may be possible depending on the person. I just feel like if society in general treated mental illness less like a disease that needs a cure and more like a variation among peoples thought-processes, I would have spent less years feeling sorry for myself and letting doctors prescribe me pills and more time kicking its ass and harnessing the energy from it! Hahaha.
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by ashley4392 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:26 am

poxabomination wrote:I was on a horrible medication for anxiety/manic depression for years, I'm talking 1-3 panic attack a day in which I thought I was about to die (even with medication), and depression and mood swings so deep it was hard to maintain friendships. One time I had to be taken to the ER in an ambulance because I was panicking so much I couldn't breath and told my mom I was dying. I thought the drug was really helping me the whole time (I can't remember how bad it was as a child before I was medicated but I'm told it was worse than I was ON the medication, so it must have been bad :lol: ), but then last year I decided to try and get off it. Then I realised it hadn't really been helping the panic attacks and depression specifically, it was just numbing me all around, to everything. Feelings, sights, sounds, even smells and tastes. I remember the first week being off the medication and realising how incredibly COLORFUL everything was. Unfortunately, the drug I was on causes absolutely horrible physical withdrawal symptoms (some doctors have likened it to mild heroin withdrawals, no joke. And they prescribed it to me at 13.) And when I say it was bad, I mean absolutely AWFUL. For three months I would get dizzy if I even moved my eyes too fast, this horrible electric shock feeling in my limbs, blackouts, loss of breath, almost passing out a few times where everything would go black, night sweats, nightmares, heart palpitations, and the worst panic attacks I had ever experienced, plus the constant craving of the medication. After about two or three solid months of that it finally tapered off and now I feel better than ever. After that bad experience (which is VERY uncommon with other drugs, that one in particular had some shady history with not-so-thourough research... but thats going off topic) I decided I personally did not trust drugs and I wanted to take control of things myself. I had been thinking a lot about mental illness as whole and how I felt totally different about it than I did years ago. I used to wish it was just gone forever and I could be a 'normal' kid, but now I embrace it as part of me and who I am and what makes me different.
Now, when I have panic attacks, like when I'm in the car and I get that awful floaty out of body feeling, I talk myself out of it. "Hey, you're having a panic attack, stop being a baby. You're not dying, you're not having a heart attack, nothing bad is happening, stop being a bitch and snap out of it." :lol: It sounds silly but I have to insult myself or it doesn't work.
When I get into those states of deep deep depression, I try and do creative things, drawing, writing, making clothes. I find that most of my best art comes from when I'm feeling the worst, I guess that whole tortured artist thing, haha. But for real, I try to embrace it, because even though depression isn't fun, its a feeling, and an incredibly STRONG feeling as I'm sure you know, that can be channeled into whatever you're trying to create. It's hard at first to be motivated enough to actually start a creative process, but once I do I shock myself with what I come up with. Some of my best writing came from when I was feeling at my absolute worst; it doesn't mean it's happy writing, but its still much more deep and with more feeling than anything else I try and write. I try to work with it and take advantage of those feelings. I was born this way, there's nothing 'wrong' with me that needs to be fixed, and I'm tired of feeling like I should be ashamed of it, dammit! XD
When I get into those crazy, straight out insane fits it' s a bit different. It only happens once every 3 or four months, but when it does I'm talking screaming to voices out loud, crying, blacking out, pulling my hair out, etc. It's scary :shock: But my bf is the most understanding person I've ever met and he gets me through it. None of my friends have ever seen me get like that or even know its there, I'm not one of those people that you meet and go "oh man its a crazy person" (I think :P) It's just one of those things that happens due to the manic depression and extreme stress. There are only two things that help me in those times, one of which is just sitting it out with my boyfriend, and the other I won't discuss here. It's not bad in my opinion but some people have a very strong first reaction towards it.
All in all, you have to figure out whats best for you and surround youself with positive, understanding people. Don't ever feel hopeless or ashamed because that just makes it worse! Maybe medication would work for you, maybe some mental excerices would work, it all depends on you as an individual. I'm glad because I can manage my issues without medication, but I am in no way knocking it. I'm just saying it may be possible depending on the person. I just feel like if society in general treated mental illness less like a disease that needs a cure and more like a variation among peoples thought-processes, I would have spent less years feeling sorry for myself and letting doctors prescribe me pills and more time kicking its ass and harnessing the energy from it! Hahaha.
The drug you're talking about wouldn't happen to be effexor would it? I'm currently weaning off of it after being on it for about 7-8 years and am going through pretty much the same thing you described. I was put on it at 18 and wasn't until more recently that i did some research on it and really didn't like what i found out so that's why i'm now slowly coming off it.

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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by ashley4392 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 1:01 am

miss_mortisha wrote:After suffering from all of the above and more for more years then i can remember - i ust wondered if anyone else does and if so what they do to cope?

I currently have panic attacks - i obsess of things from years ago and find it hard to cope with te feelings these bring up - i also have black outs of time where i dont know whats happened but i know it feels 'bad' or like i wasnt coping in some way.

I also have what my therapist calls my 'emotion box' which when something brings strong emotions i put it in the box nd close down, coming across as cold and uncaring...

I find it helpful to talk to others who have gone through all of this and wonder if other people do to?

Sorry if there is already a thread for this, i couldnt find any.... please delete or remove if inappropriate!
I've suffered from depression for about 13 years and anxiety for about 9, when my anxiety first started i had no idea what it was and when i had my first panic attack it terrified me. I had pretty much every test done under the sun because initially no one realized it was anxiety, i just had all these physical symptoms, I had chronic diarrhea. I could barely eat without throwing up, i'd get dizzy ect and just felt like utter crap all the time,this is when i started not wanting to leave the house much because it seemed like i was always running to the bathroom and was terrified it would happen when i was out in public. I lost like, 30lbs in a couple months and really thought there was something really wrong with me, when all my tests showed normal and the doctor started saying anxiety, i didn't really believe him because i didn't know too much about it at the time and there wasn't really anything that i was anxious about, or so I thought. I'm actually a recovering agoraphobic, i went about a year or year in a half barely leaving the house and when i did it was only for doctors appointments and it was a huge ordeal!! I had to quit my job, i lost touch with most of my friends, basically lost touch with reality and myself, i refer to this time in my early 20's as the lost years. I've seen a councilor for the last few years once a month or so and i find that helps just to be able to talk to someone about everything and anything with no judgement or anything. I'm still a work in progress mentally and think i always will be but i'm ok with that now, i think it's important to accept who you are and realize that although it will more than likely be a life long illness that it's nothing to be embarrassed of and to not let it define you. When i was 19-20 i just wanted to be 'normal' like everyone else and spent a great deal of time wondering why me? I've moved on from that now and become more accepting of it, of course i don't like it but there are some things you can't change and you just have to learn to live with. There's always going to be good days and bad, i can go months without a panic attack and then have 2-3 in one week. I find for me personally regular meditation helps to keep me more calm just in general, I also use rescue remedy in my morning coffee, and when I start to feel like i'm having a panic attack especially if i'm out somewhere I try to just do some meditative breathing, and keep reminding myself to just breathe and that everything is going to be fine, I've kind of developed an inner mantra of sorts, "just breathe, you're ok, this has happened before and it's fine" that sort of thing. I'm also big into crystals and always wear different ones and always carry a hematite or something similar in my pocket or purse and i find when i start having a panic attack it helps me to hold it in my hand, rubbing it kind of calms me down for some reason, and i know lots of people think crystal energy is a load of crap, I hear it from pretty much everyone i know, but it seems to work for me so i just ignore them, my crystals have kind of become like my security blanket in a way. I think that hardest part of dealing with things like this is that most of the time, in my experience anyways, my friends and family don't really get it, especially when i was agoraphobic they didn't understand why i couldn't just go to the grocery store or out for dinner with them or why i didn't have a job, and well as someone said to me once "you don't look disabled" when they asked what i did for money and I told them i got gov't disability support.

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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by poxabomination » Sun Apr 03, 2011 1:11 am

No, I wasn't of effexor though the name sounds extremely familiar... I think they may have wanted me to go on that at some point :lol: THROW PILLS AT HER, SOMETHING, MAKE IT STOP!
But I was on Paxil (paroxetine) which fortunately (or unfortunately) is so awful it has its own website/support group for withdrawing! Wooo! http://www.quitpaxil.org/ (I also found the 39857345 page research paper I did on it if anyones interested in reading.... lololololol :lol: )
After my experiences I'm totally against pills personally, I would never medicate for mental problems again. HOWEVER if you decide to go on medication and it helps you, thats wonderful! I wish I was so lucky! :lol:
Like I said, and like others said, its so important to know that you're not a weirdo or 'not normal' or handicapped or any of that nonsense, its part of who you are for better or for worse. Whether you just learn to live with it and minimize it or even embrace it is all up to you personally, but whatever you do don't feel as if its some kind of disease or you're less than human or a crazy person because of it, in fact, sitting there saying "why me?" really makes it so much worse. I want to kick myself for all those days when I was like 14 and going "oh why oh why can't I just be normalll" because I could have been doing so much more constructive things to beat the depression!
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by hellcity » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:24 am

Yup. Had depression/anxiety as far back as I can remember. I'm super lucky that it runs very strongly in the family (thanks mum). I remember her episodes from when I was a little kid. Her final illness started with a psychotic break and went thenceforth to rapid onset dementia and she passed away within 6 months. Scary.

I've done the merry-go-round of shrinks and drugs. My official 'diagnosis' is 'bi-polar' which I happen to think is bollocks. Last year I got so bad my kids had to stay with my sister for 7 weeks. That scared the ever loving shit out of me and shook me right up. I decided at that point that I had to either a) end it all or b) get my shit together and be a good mother and a happier person. I went with option B.

I ditched my much hated medication - Efexxor - within a week. You're supposed to taper but I couldn't handle the side effects for longer than a week and if I didn't get off the shit I would have been hospitalised. I REALLY didn't want that. So I quit it. I did some research myself and decided I wanted to try a non SSRI and I chose Wellbutrin (Zyban for the Aussies). It's widely used all over the world but in Oz? Only as a smoking cessation aid. This means you can get it, but it'll cost you about $80 a fortnight. On my single mothers pension (my ex husband ditched me and buggered off back to the USA - long story) as I was, I decided to suck it up. Best thing I ever did. That plus a really awesome p-doc saved me. And a shitload of determination.

That was almost a year ago. Right now, I am off meds except sleeping ones which I am trying like hell to wean off. It happened over a course of time. I ran out of meds and had no money to buy more, so I dfecided to see if I went crazy. I didn't. I felt no discernable difference. So I just continued on without.

At one point, I was on a HUGE dose of anti-d's, a mood stabiliser, panic attack meds and sleeping tablets. I was a zombie and most of the time I felt worse than without the meds.

This is *my* story only. It's how it happened for me. I am blessed with an amazing support network in my family and 2 of the most awesome kids in the universe. They keep me going. I know that a time will come when the black dog will come bite me on the arse again because that's been the pattern of my life. But that's ok. I can deal with it when it happens because god knows I've been at the lowest ebb in the past 2 years. I lost my mum, my ex husband decided a MONTH later he didn't want to be married anymore, I had to move away from the city I had lived in my whole life and leave all my friends and then the shit last year. It has sucked. So I figure I can pretty much get through anything.

Through all of this I have learned that you need a GOOD shrink or psych. They are worth a billionty dollars and are rare as hens teeth.

I'm happy to talk about my experiences. I'm not medically trained but I'm not an idiot either ;) I've run the gamut from PND to anxiety attacks and lovely loopy manic episodes (a long time ago). And I think all things considered, I'm doing pretty well. I am a very lucky one.

Strength and love to all you gals <3<3<3
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by trippytroll » Tue May 17, 2011 10:23 pm

ive suffered from depression and anxiety ffor years and then started having panic attacks a few years back, i had a loadd of shit going on in my life then that any one of them could have been a triigger, i felt like i was going mad with it all, no one understands it completely unless theyve been through iit themselves.
i was on the verge of suicide several times which looking back now was an absolutely hideous place to be and had to be asssed by many mental health teams.
the panic attacks were hiduoes, i couldnt even go out of my house most days, and if i did had to have someone like my mom with me at all times, so many times id end up in the street with her and me balling my eyes out for no reason. i tried many differentt medications and none of them really worked ffor me, i eventually took myself of all of it completely as with 3 kids i was fed up with being doped up all the time. i just have to try and stay postive about things now which is really really hard, sometmes i think i made a mistake by coming off the meds but then most of the time im glad,
ive recently been able to do a lot more on my own and dont so much rely on other people, i can now get on a bus its extremely hard and it always feels like im gonna pass out, but its such an achievement,, to be able to do that, im still restricted as tto what i can and cant do. i havent been so panicky for a while now, but have constant anxiety and some really rough days when i feel like i dont want to be alive anymore. whats hard i find though is my husband even though was really supportive through the really tough rough times he doesnt get the depression bit. and i had to give up my job cos of it too, and he some how expects me to get a job just like that, but its going to be a major thing for me to go back into work.
in june i am going to a take that concert and i so want to be able to do it, but honestly dont know if i can, it means so much to me this gig, being a take that fan for over 20 years and seeing them back together is just great for me, but my panic attacks have started to kick in and some days i havent been able to get through the front door, and i really dont want to go down that road again, my counsellor taught me a really good simple technique, that on the days i couldnt get out of my front door to go out the back insteead, and it really works, so ive started doing that. this is going to be such a big thing for me, i just hhope i can do it, the worry is making ill , im trying to stay positive but its dam hard.i really dont want it to trigger off full on panic attacks again. but if i dont go through witth it i will totally kick myseelf, but if i do i will feel so pleased and so proud
i hate living my life likee this and wish that i could be normal but i know i have a mental illness and thats just part of me.
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by Leanna Moore » Wed May 18, 2011 6:46 am

I apparently have more disorders than I can count or care to remember the names of.


Right now I'm suffering from hypo-mania hardcore. Its mostly because I'm on a pill for my asthma called Prednizone (I think thats how its spelt) and it causes hypo-mania and obsessive behaviors. The biggest side effect of it is: Spending money.

I raised my credit card limit to 10 grand from 1 grand, and I've spent 7grand in the past 11 days.



I'm really suffering right now, because I can't see my therapist for another two weeks so we can't adjust my meds, and my parranoia, anxiety, SI issues, depression issues have really just... Well, I'm having a huge bout of them right now.

I've suffered from depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, extreme SI, body dismorphic disorder, and mild schizophrenia for most of my life (I was diagnosed with BDD, PTSD at the age of 8. mild schizophrenia at age 11) and I've been medicated since the age of 9. I've been on litterally EVERYTHING. I'm on meds that work fairly well, though they need to be adjusted right now.

Even though I'm mostly a miserable person, I'm happy at the same time. I have no idea if that makes any sense at all but... I'm happy with the life I have, and I wouldn't not want to have my disorders. Maybe because I've never had a normal life, and because I'm afraid and offended by normality.

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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by slaaneshque » Wed May 18, 2011 1:43 pm

I had terrible anxiety and depression for years and years. I also used to have panic attacks, along with a million other symptoms. So I have a good handful of diagnoses, but I'm medicated now and occasionally see a therapist when things get really out of hand. (I used to see one weekly, but I don't need that much support anymore, nor can I afford it!) Anyway, I'm pretty stable, but it took a lot of work and luck to get there.

I sought help when I was 17 and saw a therapist for a while. I went on an SSRI and promptly started spiraling into complete insanity. Over the next eleven years I was lucky enough to find a fantastic therapist who helped me deal with all of the emotional stuff that was screwing me up and then I finally found a psychiatrist who listened well. She put me on a lot of drugs and turned me into a stable zombie which, to me, was better than being hospitalized or worse. About a year ago, I think, I switched to my current shrink who doesn't believe in over-medicating people and I am much more...engaged? I'm still on a number of meds, but I don't feel drugged all the time.

I can't come down on drugs because they have really helped me, even though at times they have been really scary (I have had dystonic reactions, lost my vision, triggered psychotic episodes, etc.) or unproductive. So has talk therapy. I think it's a matter of experimenting until you find a combination that works for you and that you're comfortable with. I wish it was less of a process and that results were guaranteed, though. Best of luck to you!

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iddylove
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Re: Anxiety / depression / panic attacks

Post by iddylove » Wed May 18, 2011 2:05 pm

ive been having panick attacks since i was 5. night terrors since i can remeber dreaming. the only medication that has helped me so far (which i am currently on) is lexapro. which is actually meant to be for depression, but its helped my anxiety. ive gone from having up to 4 or 5 attacks in one day to maybe one a week. right now ive actually had a few in the past couple days becuase im really stressed out (moving into a new apartment this friday) but i take lorazepam to stop/reduce the attack. but basically for me, i'll feel like im dying. or having a heartattack, and my face goes numb, my head feels like im going to float away, but at the same time my body feels heavy, and i cant breathe. depending on how worked up i get, i usually end up getting sick. and then im just really realllllly tired when its all over with. getting in the shower, or even just hearing running water is calming for me if i feel one coming on. if im in public, ill just turn the bathroom faucet on and sit in there a few minuites and focus on breathing.

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